Rani...I entirely agree with all what you have written. and I can tell you that it is a well studied thesis. Congratulation. kunjubi
rani nair < raninair6@yahoo.com > wrote:Dear All,I look around at a lot of marriages either its love or arranged and saw the problems and the divorce. Everyone knows that marriage is tough. I do not feel my opinion is the "almighty opinion" or that I am a marriage genius, because I am not. However, I have been married. So I do kind of feel like my opinions might be valid.There are a few areas I want to discuss because I think they are vitally important to any marriage when it's come to love or arranged marriage. However, my opinions do not apply to those in verbally and/or physically abusive marriages.A Sense of Safety- life can be difficult and bad things happen to a lot of us. A husband can give a sense of safety that was like a lifeline for a wife. its needed and like, one needed air and the safety he provides keeps her going.Unconditional Love- It is hard to love unconditionally. You may think it is easy, but it really isn't. We all do things our spouses don't like and they do things we don't like, but you create a safe place for your spouse when they know that no matter what you will still love them. Never use your love as a threat or a weapon.Acceptance- It seems like a little word, but it means everything. We all have parents and friends and co-workers and idiots on the street that make comments or flat out explain why we are not acceptable and how we must change to be acceptable to them. Well, u didn't have to change anything for your husband. He liked you no matter what. If you are fat or dark he loved you and accepted you. He accepted you through every hard time you have had since being with him.These three things, I feel, are the cornerstone marriage. Every marriage is different. You may need unconditional love, forgiveness and sex and that is just fine. Everyone needs different things, but figure out what yours are and if you have them value them. Try to not take them for granted.Respect for the Male Species…In today's world women are extremely independent and they are going to take no crap off of any man and I completely understand that. Women are just as strong as men and from what I have seen can run circles around them while working, cleaning a house and raising kids. Women are great, but so are a lot of men. My very humble opinion is that many marriages are failing because many men are not respected and they do not feel respected. I know women deserve respect and I am not saying that men do not have to respect women. I am saying that in addition to the respect a man gives a woman, the woman needs to give respect right back.Marriage is a Partnership. Both partners deserve equal respect. Women demand respect, and they should, but men can't really "demand" it without being a completely jerk. Men do deserve to feel like they are respected in their home. They deserve to feel like a man and in today's liberated society men often feel overrun and as though their feelings don't matter at all…kind of similar to how women felt not so long ago, huh? When men feel as though they have no respect they start to lose their sense of manhood. The perceived lack of respect makes them feel like nothing and tears at their self-esteem. As a result, they are obviously very unhappy and they cannot give their wives the unconditional love, acceptance and support women want and need to have.SurrenderIt is the sweetness of honey, it is the warmth of the sun, it is the feeling of well-being that comes of being with your beloved, of having been loved by him, and the anticipation, of being loved again - there is a sensual, heavy-limbed feeling in this simple uncomplicated moment.Love never bargains, trades or expects. Love never complains, never demands, and never hopes. Love never accepts anything less than Love, and therefore Love cannot be measured, imagined, argued about or logically arrived at. Only full faith and complete surrender to the will of Love enables us to totally dissolve our ego and merge into this ocean of love.As Brihadaranyakam Upanishada says, "Verily, it is not for the sake of the body of a wife that a wife is dear, but for the sake of the Love or Self (Atman) in her that the wife is dear."regards,Rani
Never miss a thing. Make Yahoo your homepage.hifi with love
Looking for last minute shopping deals? Find them fast with Yahoo! Search.
To subscribe send a mail to Keralites-subscribe@yahoogroups.com.
Send your posts to Keralites@yahoogroups.com.
Send your suggestions to Keralites-owner@yahoogroups.com.
To unsubscribe send a mail to Keralites-unsubscribe@yahoogroups.com.
Homepage: www.keralites.net
Earn your degree in as few as 2 years - Advance your career with an AS, BS, MS degree - College-Finder.net.
Fed Lowers Rates Again - Think you pay you much for your mortgage? No SSN Required - Estimate New Payment.
Change settings via the Web (Yahoo! ID required)
Change settings via email: Switch delivery to Daily Digest | Switch format to Traditional
Visit Your Group | Yahoo! Groups Terms of Use | Unsubscribe
__,_._,___
0 comments:
Post a Comment