They're hard to get started, they emit noxious odors, and half the time they don't work.
We cook-they eat; we clean-they dirty; we iron-they wrinkle.
By sucking in their stomachs every time they see a bikini.
Make him wear shoes.
Rename the mail folder "Instruction Manuals."
He buys two cases of beer instead of one.
All he's concerned with is legs, breasts and thighs.
None. It should be opened by the time she brings it to the couch.
One-He just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around him.
Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to listen to him brag about the screwing part.
Two. If you slice them very thinly.
I can do so much better.
Any place without a drive-up window.
Trustworthy.
You didn't hold the pillow down long enough.
Gifted.
Exchange him.
A power failure.
A woman to show him how to work it.
When you can just barely slip your finger in between his neck and the noose.
Because after 30 seconds they forget what happened.
Because it helps them remember which end they need to wipe.
Because if they all went, it would be Hell.
Because not one will stop and ask for directions.
They both run at the first sign of emotion.
They either cling, run, or don't fit right in the crotch!
His wife is good at picking out clothes.
Four guys watching a football game.
The sofa doesn't keep asking for beer.
A woman wants one man to satisfy her every need. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need.
Sex.
Telling you his real name.
Put the remote control between his toes.
Put a naked blonde and a six-pack in front of him. Then tell him to pick only one.
Big Foot's been spotted a several times.
"My wife says..."
Straight through the rib cage.
So men can understand them.
Because they're all pigs.
He didn't want any advice.
Because you're always supposed to have a rough draft before creating your masterpiece.
To knock the penises off the smart ones.
To stop the snoring before it starts.
To keep them from grazing.
Because they are practicing to be men.
Opposites attract.
When the crew gets lost in space, at least the woman will ask for directions.
When it's time to go back to his childhood, he's already there.
They all already have boyfriends.
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