Mr. Jose,
I wish you had read the letter properly. Nowehere I have blamed MY parents. I have been (thankfully) brought up in Delhi, where among the north Indians, courtsey - such as Dhanyavad, Shukriya, Aap kaise hain? Kya Seva kiya jaayen? etc are standard practice. Like Anita says, it is my habit to thank you my liftman, my chauffer, my peon who gives me tea etc. I only made an observation about my fellow Malayalis - particularly for those who have the sense and sensibility to have an objective view on one's own shortcomings - to see if any thing is possible. In hindi, there is a saying "Buddhiman ko ishara kaafi hain" (Meaning - An indication is sufficient for an intelligent man).
I still maintain that a child is like a blank paper. The parents/teachers can make a great imprint on this blank paper. Parents who teach children to have a thankful heart, will find that the child grows up learning to give thanks. On the other hand, if the parents behave or teach that what ever we get is our right and there is no need to thank, will grow up as such. Anyway, we all will be thought of and remembered, as we behave or as are our actions. Ravana is known for his behaviour as also Ram for his. So Mr. Jose, you can make your choice. I have nothing to gain or to loose if others hate you or like you. It will be your own Karmaphalam, just as I have mine.
Good day to you all.
Bhaskar
On Fri, 15 Feb 2008 Anita Daniel wrote :
>Dear Friends,
>
>I have been reading this article for a while now. I
>feel I need to voice my views on this 'thank you'
>argument. Being thankful is the greatest form of
>greatfullness in any culture..this is certainly not a
>western culture..it stems from our various cultures,
>background, and upbringing.
>
>We all have different ways to express our thanks and
>of course in various languages as well. Whatever our
>social upbringing is saying thank you to whosoever who
>has been a blessing to us in any way..this a way of
>appreciating one's act of kindness.
>
>I have been brought up in a culture where we were
>taught to say thank you to the bus driver who used to
>drive me to school when I was a kid..to the bread man,
>the milkman, my teachers, my parents, the waiter, and
>now my husband and my grown up son as well. To this
>day I still practice it. I know for sure this gesture
>will go a long way in all our lives!
>
>I am not preaching here or putting anyone's opinion
>down but sharing what is in my heart...I mean well!
>
>
>Nandri, rombe ubagarem, thanks, terima kasih, gracias
>and all the best.
>
>Anita.
>
>
>
>
>--- jose s <josman21@gmail.
>
> > i cant agree with Bhaskar. he is blaming his parents
> > for this. how a man can
> > do this ?
> > is he under 10 year old ? is he dont have living
> > experience ?
> >
> > On Thu, Feb 14, 2008 at 8:27 PM, Suresh M
> > <sureshem@hotmail.
> >
> > >
> > > I go with you Bhaskar,
> > >
> > > Generally, Malayali knows his rights too much..but
> > not responsibilities.
> > > He is too aware of his rights that he forgets that
> > others have an equal
> > > right as his!!
> > > I read someone writing that 'thanking' someone is
> > a western culture!!! why
> > > do we have the word 'nandi, upakaaram' in
> > malayalam, 'shukriya' in
> > > hindi/urdu? Is that to be used only in formal
> > talks and letters? for eg.,
> > > whats wrong in thanking a waiter at a hotel?
> > Respect is always a "Give and
> > > Take" affair. We should teach our kids to respect
> > elders and also to thank
> > > and wish whereever necessary.
> > >
> > > Suresh
> > >
> > > ------------
> > > To: Keralites@yahoogrou
> > > From: k_bhaskar123@
> > > Date: Thu, 14 Feb 2008 07:10:25 +0000
> > > Subject: Re: [Keralites] Malayalees open mouth for
> > 2 things - reply
> > >
> > >
> > > I tend to agree to the view that a Malayali is, by
> > and large, arrogant. He
> > > thinks that he has the answer to all the problems
> > in the world. If Tamil
> > > Nadu has a problem, there is bandh - sorry, HARTAL
> > - in Kerala. Shiva Sena
> > > was formed in Maharashtra to fight the south
> > Indians and to kick them out of
> > > Mumbai. But we have a Shiv Sena in Kerala!!
> > > We also tend to think that anything that we get is
> > our right!! So why
> > > should I thank anybody? We normally take things
> > for granted and the word
> > > "THANKS" rarely comes from our mouth. The fault is
> > that of the parents. We
> > > should teach our children to thank for the help
> > they get from ANYONE - even
> > > somebody we have paid for (For example waiters at
> > the restaurants, lift boys
> > > etc.). Only then this will come as a habit. In the
> > meantime, my suggestion
> > > to all my co-malayalis is
> > > 1) Let us start saying "THANKS" when ever we get
> > an opportunity
> > > 2) Let us teach our children to do so and
> > > 3) Let us do the good, whether or not any one says
> > "THANKS"
> > >
> > > Thanks for reading.
> > >
> > > On Tue, 12 Feb 2008 manoj mattew wrote :
> > > >Nikhil
> > > >
> > > >I am not criticized you or anybody or any
> > culture. There is nothing wrong
> > > in saying a “Thank you†.
> > > >What I said; we should not expect such a behavior
> > from people, those who
> > > are living in different custom.
> > > >My mother, father and wife, they did lot of
> > things to me. I never said a
> > > “thanks†to them at any single incident.
> > > >May be a 1000 time, I said thanks to my managers
> > for simple things.
> > > >One of them left the company three months back;
> > he left from my memory
> > > also.
> > > >Even though my parents are in India, I got 1000
> > chances to remember them
> > > daily.
> > > >Some times silence and smile works more than
> > words and actions.
> > > >Regards
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >Manoj Mathew
> > > >___________
> > > >
> > > > From: Keralites@yahoogrou
> > [mailto:Keralites@yahoogrou
> > > Behalf Of Nikhil Notty
> > > >Sent: Tuesday, February 12, 2008 3:08 PM
> > > >To: Keralites@yahoogrou
> > > >Subject: Re: [Keralites] Malayalees open mouth
> > for 2 things - reply
> > > >
> > > >If saying "Thank you " is not our coulture i
> > think i made a mistake by
> > > critisising the culture .......
> > > >
> > > >But in Our culture what way we should espress our
> > thankfullness and
> > > gratitude .....
> > > >
> > > >Give some one a sarcastic smile?
> > > >
> > > >I do not think so ..... evry thing should be
> > thanked ... if the "Thank
> > > YOU " Is makeing u feel , u are imitating
> > americans
> > > >
> > > >Leave it .......... Use "Nmaskaram and
> > Nandiyundu" ......
> > > >
> > > >atleast show an attitude of thanks .......
> > instead showing an atitude its
> > > ur prevelage?
> > > >
> > > >which is better ?????
> > > >
> > > >OR say "Thank GOD" .... the person who helped
> > will be happy to hear it
> > > >
> > > >regards ,
> > > >Nikhil
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >
> > > >manoj mattew <manoj@carlogavazzia
> > wrote:
> > > > Hi Nikhil
> > > > I do agree with you in some extend. â€Å"One
> > is to criticize, next is
> > > to eat some thingâ€Â
> > > > However, regarding â€Å"Thank you†, I do
> > not understand why we
> > > are expecting ‘thanks’, when we are
> > doing something voluntary.
> > > It is a western culture to say
> > ‘thanks’ and
> > > ‘sorry’ to all things. Western people
> > are very much clever to
> > > advertise their customs and products to the world
> > and force other to follow
> > > it. We can follow the good part of it. But as you
> > know, we have a great
> > > culture and customs, which exists from a long time
> > back. When the westerners
> > > dominated the world, they try to implement their
> > systems and made us
> > > believe, it is the best. Now that time has gone.
> > We, Asians are going to
> > > dominate the world. Let us proud of our customs
> > and culture. It is not a
> > > common practice in Kerala, to say
> > â€Å"Thanks†or â€Å"sorryâ€Â
> > > for every thing as Europeans. Every place got its
> > own customs and culture. I
> > > feel that, it is better to keep silent than saying
> > an untruthful
> > > ‘Thanks’ or ‘sorry’.
> > > > We keralites, when we were in a foreign country,
> > think ourselves as
> > > high-class people. We feel all our system and
> > people in our native place is
> > > substandard. Because of some luck, many of us
> > achieved good position and
> > > money. Here we got chances to mingling with
> > European or American people and
> > > we think you are one among them. I have seen here,
> > all the nationalities are
> > > speaking their own language in casual talks, even
> > some times in business
> > > meetings. But when we two Indians, especially
> > malayalies meet each other, we
> > > starts speak in English. Dear all, time has gone,
> > now it is the time to show
> > > what you have. As you said, we always open our
> > mouth to criticize our
> > > politics, system and people. With accepting its
> > negatives, because of our
> > > politics, systems and culture, we achieved all
> > this today’s
> > > developments. When we fired missiles, many people
> > asked, why we are wasting
> > > money instead of handling starvation. You can see
> > what the situation of gulf
> > > countries is, having lot money, but still waiting
> > for America’s mercy
> > > for their security.
> > >
> > > > If we are proud to be a keralites, you should
> > also
>=== message truncated ===
>
>
>
> ____________
>Sent from Yahoo! Mail - a smarter inbox http://uk.mail.
>
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